Wednesday, 31 March 2010

On the bookshelf...

At the mo I'm reading The Discipline Book by Dr William Sears and Martha Sears.

In many ways it's seems a bit early to be thinking about discipline with Adele but Marianne and I were having a conversation about discipline the other day so I thought I'd get a head start.

Plus, as soon as she started crawling I've noticed myself saying no, a-ah, not for Dellie a whole lot more!

Oh yes, and one day while boggling on the interwebby I stumbled across the concept of 'No punishment parenting'. Oh, no, I thought. Another crazy idea I'll latch on to to make my life more difficult for myself. (I'll never understand why I can't just do things the normal, easy way!)

So, The Discipline Book. I've read the first section which is about setting the environment for positive parenting. The Sears' say the the role of parents is to help the child feel right so that they will act right. Discipline is best if it is internally motivated rather than externally. So the kid should want to be good because it makes them feel good and makes their parents happy rather than behaving because they're scared of getting in trouble.

Some of their ideas include:
  • understand where the child is developmentally - what are they capable/incapable of doing and understanding?
  • create a 'yes' environment so that you don't need to say no all the time (baby-proofing etc)
  • ensure good nutrition
  • practice attachment parenting
  • use alternatives to 'no'
  • build self-esteem
  • help your child to express themselves safely
One other cool thing they talk about is that the ultimate goal is not independence. It's interdependence. First is dependence, then independence then interdependence. The last stage is recognising that you could do something on your own but that you'll get a better outcome if you get others to help.

I'm just now moving on to the section titled "Correcting undesirable behaviour". Sounds fun...

1 comment:

  1. where you been girlie girl? I've been missing your posts, please come back!